Lupus Health Center

Lupus, Sex, and Relationships

Talk About It continued...

Tell your doctor, too, if lupus is curbing your sex life.

“People with lupus can have a normal life, but you may have to bring it up with your doctor,” Jolly says. “We only get 20 minutes to see a patient, and physicians don't think of sexual problems as routine; we think of blood pressure and obvious symptoms. But there are several things that can be done to improve sexual health, so don't be embarrassed to ask for help.”

Meeting with a therapist - either alone or with your partner - may also help.

“A therapist should help the couple understand each other and work as a team,” Jones says. “There should be a discussion about what each person is losing because of the lupus and how they can comfort each other and rewrite their lives together. Maybe the way they make love changes. Maybe there's more foreplay or masturbation. But making the decision together can be a bonding experience that should help them feel closer and want to share that closeness physically.”